Once upon a time, Eva Mendes was one of the biggest names in Hollywood. She played a major role in Training Day, and the success of that film helped her land roles in other major productions such as 2 Fast 2 Furious and Hitch. And even when the movie wasn’t all that good (like that Nicolas Cage Ghost Rider film), Mendes was always the best part of the film.
She doesn’t act as much these days, but there’s a good reason for that: she’s enjoying being a wife to Ryan Gosling and mother to his children. Many would think that marrying one of Hollywood’s hugest hunks after getting rich and famous means that the starlet has had an easy life, but the truth is quite the opposite, and she’s been carrying a lifetime of trauma on those thin shoulders.
Don’t believe it? Keep reading to discover the saddest things about Eva Mendes’ life!
Eva Mendes’ brother died of cancer
Growing up, Eva Mendes was very close to her brother Carlos. The two took for granted that they would have a lifetime to enjoy each other’s company, but that sadly wasn’t in the cards. Carlos ended up dying in 2016, passing away due to throat cancer at the relatively young age of 53.
Making this untimely death even more tragic was that Carlos died only two weeks before Eva Mendes gave birth to her second daughter. That meant that he never even got a chance to see his new niece before he died, but Eva honored his memory by naming her daughter Amada, which means “beloved” after how her family viewed Carlos. As for Mendes’ husband Ryan Gosling, he did his part by honoring Carlos during a 2017 Golden Globes acceptance speech.
A struggle against Hollywood racism
While Eva Mendes became a major Hollywood star, she didn’t exactly take a straight route to get there. Before her breakout performance in Training Day, she was most known for starring in quirky horror sequels like Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror and Urban Legends: Final Cut. It’s possible that she could have had a breakout far sooner, and according to her, the only reason that she didn’t is that she was the victim of constant racist casting practices in Hollywood.
In 2024, she told The Times “That’s all they would say at the beginning — ‘She’s too ethnic for this, too ethnic for that.’ It was so crazy.” In a different interview with Newsweek, she revealed that she was usually cast alongside Black actors due to her skin color, something that had some ups and downs. “Certainly I’ve benefited, because I’ve got to work with Ice Cube, Denzel and Will,” she said. “But it’s lame. I wish the mentality wasn’t so closed.”
A lifetime of anxiety
It’s easy to sit back and assume that Eva Mendes has always had it very easy. After all, she’s a Hollywood megastar married to an even bigger Hollywood megastar. How hard could life be, really?
According to the actor, though, she has suffered from anxiety for her entire life. When she went on the Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali podcast, she openly discussed her childhood. “My household when I was little was very chaotic: a lot of screaming, a lot of anxiety, a lot of turmoil,” she said. That led her to experience ongoing anxiety as well as a profound sense of inadequacy that even fame and fortune have never made fully go away.
Major motherly guilt
Remember when we talked about Eva Mendes experiencing major trauma growing up? The good news for the actor is that the original trauma is long past and she has had plenty of time and distance with which to heal herself. The bad news is that once she became a mother herself, she began to worry that she would accidentally continue the cycle.
On the Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali podcast, she said that she felt confident in her 20s that “’I’m not gonna be anything like my parents.’” Now, though, “I’m shocked … [by] how much I’m like my mother.” While she has a great relationship with her mom, she sometimes worries she is negatively affecting her children when she has to raise her voice. She also previously revealed via Instagram that she uses social media less because her kids guilted her out about being on social media too much.
The fear of fear itself
While Eva Mendes has a great relationship with her mother now, she remembers her parents being very strict disciplinarians growing up. The reason for this was that the family was dealing with very limited resources. She and her husband Ryan Gosling are quite wealthy, but despite this, she sometimes worries she will be too harsh on her own kids.
She revealed on the Parenting & You with Dr. Shefali that “I really don’t want to raise by fear. … I get emotional over it because it’s so not fair to the kids.” Fortunately, she is focusing on overcoming this fear of fear and creating a healthier future for herself, her husband, and most of all, her children.